The Immortal Sexi Foursome
by MGFF
Summary: They've conquered the world, and they'll live until Doomsday. Lenni and Bekki, the original Immortals, are joined by the other members of the Sexi Foursome-- for eternity. And when you can live forever... there's more time to be sexi.
1. Stalkers and BDSM

**The Immortal Sexi Foursome**

**Chapter 1**

**Stalkers and BDSM**

Bekki: Oh Jesus, God you didn't Lenni? Please tell me you didn't.

Lenni: I did.

Bekki: ...

Lenni: Bekki?

Bekki: ...I'm not talking to you.

Lenni: ...-lower lip trembles- -eyes fill with tears- B-b-bekki hates meh!

Bekki: For fucks sake I do!

Lenni: I thought you liked Clare!

Bekki: I do!

Lenni: I thought you liked Erin!

Bekki: I fucking do!

Lenni: ...Then what the fuck is your problem?!

Bekki: I like them both... I just... the immortal thing... it was our thing... now I have to share you... with two other people... for eternity!

Lenni: You are way too needy.

Bekki: I'm sorry!

Clare: Hey guys... ah, why's Bekki crying?

Lenni: Um, you don't want to know, Clare... like for serious you don't.

Erin: Do I want to know?

Lenni: No Erin, even you don't wanna get into this shit.

Erin: Okay.

Bekki: -sniffle-

Lenni: Group hug!

Bekki: I l-love you guys...

Lenni: Ruin a perfect gropage moment, why don't you Bekki?

Bekki: I'm sorry... -deep breath- so... you guys wanna go do something?

Erin: What are you suggesting, Bekki?

Bekki: God, don't be so suspicious Erin, I just meant we could like... go looking for some awesome legend... or something.

Lenni: Hmm, she's got a point; we have a while before the world ends... but look for what?!

Bekki: The happi beava!

Lenni: ...

Erin: ...

Clare: ...

Erin: No, Bekki.

Bekki: I fucking hate you all.

Lenni: Love you too.

Bekki: Eh, fuck this shit, come on Lenni let's go learn to breathe under water, catch you guys later?

Clare: You can't just make us immortal and leave us here!!111one

Lenni: Clare, with great longevity comes great fun, now fuck off and enjoy yourself, we'll be around – the world isn't that big.

Clare: M'kay.

Erin: So, it's just the two of us now.

Clare: Yup!

Erin: What do you feel like doing?

Clare: Shipping! –squee–

Erin: ...Why am I not surprised?

**000**

Lenni: Bekki, I can't see!

Bekki: Shh, get down, they might look this way.

Lenni: WE'RE ON-

Bekki: Shhhhhh

Lenni: We're on the roof of a fucking building, why the hell would they look up here?

Bekki: I don't know!

Lenni: Then let me see!

Bekki: Fine, God. -.-

Lenni: They're not even doing anything, just standing there!

Bekki: What did you think they were doing, Lenni?

Lenni: Um, I don't know... like something!

Bekki: Lenni, I plan to stalk them for at least twenty years – if you're not up for being patient tell me now.

Lenni: I can do this.

Bekki: Wow, your determination is surprising.

Lenni: Shut up, whore, why do you want to stalk those fuckers anyway? They're not even doing anything.

Bekki: Lenni, they have to do something interesting sometime... and I want to observe people...

Lenni: Why do you look like that?

Bekki: Like what?

Lenni: You're leaving something out... tell me, whore!

Bekki: It's nothing!

Lenni: TELL! ME! YOU! WHORE!

...

Bekki: I wanna be telling the truth when I say 'I has stalking skillz' that's all.

Lenni: M'kay, love, we'll stalk them then.

Bekki: W00T!

Lenni: Now are they doing anything interesting?

Bekki: Not really... oh wait... oh my God, epic moment!

Lenni: What?!

Bekki: They just walked into 'The Den.'

Lenni: The Den?

Bekki: Adult concepts... BDSM, love, very BDSM.

Lenni: OooOOoOooOOh.

Bekki: Shh, look!

Lenni: What have they got?

Bekki: Damn, nothing interesting... just some gay fuzzy handcuffs.

Lenni: How could you possibly know that?

Bekki: ...

Lenni: Bekki?

Bekki: I... I got some special surgery done, on my eyes.

Lenni: What?! You could have been blind for eternity!

Bekki: Eh, I don't think so. It's worth it just watching you when you think I can't see what you're doing... in the dark for instance...

Lenni: BEKKI! ...Fucking whore.

Bekki: Hehehe... oh shit... where'd they go?

Lenni: I don't fucking know, why don't you use your perv-eyes to find them?

Bekki: I'm trying, they aren't on the street!

Lenni: We've been tracking them twelve years now and the moment they do something REMOTELY interesting you LOSE them!?

Bekki: Twelve years huh?

Lenni: HOLY FUCK!

Clare: Surprise glomp!

Lenni: Eep! SHIT!

Bekki: Clare GTFO me!

Clare: Ahahaha fine, but you're not going anywhere.

Bekki: Aw fuck... the cuffs... damn you to fucking hell, you immortal bastards!

Erin: Play nice, Bekkity!

Lenni: She's the one who wanted to stalk you guys! Why am I tied up?!

Clare: Psh, Lenni, you could have stopped her if you wanted.

Lenni: SO?!111one

Clare: Ahahahaaaa.

Lenni: Clare, did I ever tell you that you have a wonderful evil laugh?

Clare: Flattery won't save you now, Lennster!

Lenni: Erin, come on, surely you can see she's insane?

Erin: You spied on me for over a decade, Lenni, whether it was Bekki's fault or not I'm not going to be the one to let you go!

Lenni: I HATE YOU ALL!

Bekki: Psh, we wouldn't have this problem if YOU hadn't immortalized them, Lennikins.

Lenni: Psh yourself, we wouldn't have this problem if YOU hadn't immortalized me, Bekkers.

Bekki: Fuck you, you brought it on yourself.

Lenni: I did not!

Clare: Shut up both of you!

Bekki: O.O

Lenni: O.O

Erin: Clare said a bad word.

Clare: -.-

Erin: Oh well, I'm done here, you know there's a special button that opens the cuffs, right, Lenni?

Clare: NOOOoOOooooOOOOoOoOOOoOooooooooOo!!1111one

Erin: Um, Clare?

Clare: MY PRISONERS!!11111111111oneoneeleventy

Lenni: O.O

Bekki: Well, I'm outta here –cough– coming Lenni?

Lenni: Oh, I see it... yes, I suppose, I feel like going to Disneyland...

Bekki: M'kay, I've never been.

Erin: Really?

Clare: STOP IGNORING ME!!11!!11111111!!1

Lenni: ...I'm hungry too, hey Erin, you know how to cook right?

Erin: Um, maybe.

Bekki: Eh, well now you can learn to pickpocket.

Clare: ...


	2. Kill Spree

**The Immortal Sexi Foursome **

**Chapter 2**

**Killing Spree**

Bekki: Lenneh, why is the rum always gone?!

Lenni: ...Bekki, you've been drinking vodka not rum.

Bekki: FUCK YOU!

Lenni: You're an idiot.

Bekki: -giggles- I know... I'm sucha terrible drunk... you should be dunk with meh!

Lenni: Um, I think I'll pass.

Bekki: But then you won't make out with me when I come on to you! –sob-

Lenni: That's a good thing, dear.

Bekki: ...Not for me it isssn't

Lenni: Shush dear, look at all the people we have here.

Bekki: They're all fffaggots!

Lenni: That's my point.

Bekki: I fucking hate them!

Lenni: Here's a knife.

Bekki: Ohmigod, Kenni, uh, Klenni, AH LENNI FUCK! YOU FUCKING CUNT!

Lenni: Um, what?

Bekki: -swallows- I love you so much, Lenni, I just couldn't say your name for some reason...

Lenni: It's because you've ingested large quantities of alcohol, dear.

Bekki: ...

Lenni: Are you okay?

Bekki: I'M NOT FUCKING DRUNK, YOU WHORE!!

Lenni: Of course not.

Bekki: I love you... -stumble- hug?

Lenni: -backs away- Ah, might I remind you about the knife in your hand, dear?

Bekki: Oh yeah! Ima go kill some faggots, m'kay?

Lenni: Okay, Bekki, you go do that.

Bekki: -staggers away-

Lenni: -watches-

Bekki: Oi, faggot!

Lenni: Oh God.

Bekki: Yeah, you! Fuckin' c'mere so I can fuckin' cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!

Lenni: -shakes head-

Bekki: -stumble- -stabs- Oops.

Lenni: Bekki? Did you just kill someone?

Bekki: YES! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Lenni. –cries-

Lenni: ...It's fine... go get that one... she's a real bitch.

Bekki: You really want me too? –sniffle-

Lenni: Yes.

Bekki: YAY! –stumbles- Lenni, I don't feel so good...

Lenni: If you're gonna throw up, get off the carpet.

Bekki: Eh, I'm not gonna fuckin' throw up! I never throw up! ...while I'm drunk...

Lenni: That's nice...

Bekki: YUP! Oh...

Lenni: What is it?

Bekki: -cries- I'm sorry!

Lenni: What the fuck did you do!?

Bekki: The blood... I got it on the carpet!

Lenni: ...Bekki, I was just saying that... you're standing on tiles.

Bekki: -looks down- Oh. YAY!

Lenni: Oh, shit! Bekki, I need you to sober up REALLY quickly, okay? Can you do that for me?

Bekki: ...Um, I don't think so... I'm pretty far gone...

Lenni: Just sit down and don't say anything.

Clare: Lenni? What's going on? ...Why is there a body in here?

Lenni: Eep. Hi, Erin, Clare, hehe... you wouldn't believe what happened...

Bekki: -giggle- Prolly coz you're gonna tell them a lie, Lennnnnni.

Lenni: Shut. Up. Bekki.

Erin: Lenni, wanna tell us what's going on here?!

Lenni: ...Bekki did it.

Bekki: I did not!

Lenni: You killed him!

Bekki: SO? You told me too AND gave me the alciminahol...!

Lenni: Finished?

Bekki: It's a hard word...

Lenni: Not really.

Bekki: Yeah? Well fuck you!

Erin: Bekki...

Bekki: Mmn, Erin?

Erin: You just killed a man... even wasted, don't you feel any remorse?

Bekki: Not particularly... all these people are faggots. I fucking hate them.

Clare: Ew ew ew!! Guys, that corpse just moved!

Lenni: Sure, Clare, it was probably just some natural corpsie thing...

Clare: I swear to God it moved!

Corpse: -groan-

Erin: Did that corpse just make a sound?

Lenni: Psh, Erin, it's natural... wake up, Bekki –kicks-

Bekki: Oh, wha?

Clare: Oh noes!!11one You phailed at killing the corpse!

Bekki: I did not! You take that back! –throws self at Clare's legs-

Clare: Eeeeep! I'm on the corpse! Get me off! Get me off!

Lenni: I'll get you off!

Erin: I don't think this is the time, Lenni. -.-

Lenni: Psh, it's always the time, Erin!

Corpse: -groan- oh god...

Sexi Foursome: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! –fleeing-

Clare: Did we lose him?!

Erin: I don't... think... he was really up to chasing...

Bekki: I wasn't up to running that's for sure... Ima go throw up in those bushes guys...

Lenni: Don't get any on yourself! I'm not dragging you home if you pass out in your own puke!

Bekki: -whimper- I wont, Lenni...

Lenni: Does anyone feel like waffles?

Clare: Ohmigod yes!

Erin: Yeah, sure...

Bekki: -cough- Yeah... I need something to absorb the alcohol... God, I'm sobering up... was there anymore vodka?

Lenni: ...

Clare: ...

Erin: ...

Lenni: NO!


	3. Atlantis

**The Immortal Sexi Foursome**

**Chapter 3**

**Atlantis**

Lenni: Hey, Clare! Clare Clare Clare Clare!

Clare: WHAT?!

Lenni: ...Uh I have something to show you!

Bekki: WE have something to show you, we found it together, Lenni!

Lenni: Yeah sure, together, whatever, come see what I found, Clare!

Clare: Where's Erin?

Lenni: I DON'T KNOW WHY DOES IT MATTER?!

Clare: She's the voice of reason! I don't want to be abused by you two!

Lenni: Have a little faith...

Bekki: Yeah, you suspicious whore!

Clare: Okay, I'll come look...

Lenni: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!1111oneoneeleventy

Clare: ...Once we get Erin.

Lenni: Gah!

Clare: What? Don't you want to show Erin as well?

Lenni: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1!one

Bekki: She's off finding the meaning of life - we don't want to disturb her.

Clare: Yeah right, you guys have been lying and manipulating me for the better part of a century, you really think I'm going to fall for that?

Erin: Clare. You. Just. Interrupted. Me. I. Was. This. Fucking. Close. To. Discovering. The. Meaning. Of. Life.

Lenni: We tried to warn you...

Erin: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN MEDITATING?!

Bekki: Told you so.

Clare: ...I didn't know!!1

Erin: THEY. WARNED. YOU. DAMMIT.

Clare: I'm sorry! This is THEIR fault for lying all the time!

Bekki: Is not!

Erin: -sigh- I don't care anymore, just what the hell do you guys want?

Clare: Lenni wanted to show me something.

Bekki: WE wanted to show you something. ME AND LENNI not just Lenni.

Erin: Okay, fine, so let's see it then.

Lenni: Tada! The Lost City of Atlantis!

Clare: ...

Erin: Guys... that's a small Pacific Island... one you yourselves drowned in one of your bitch fights.

Clare: Did you really expect to pass that off as Atlantis?

Erin: For God's sake! The meaning of life for this!

Bekki: Dammit.

Lenni: Psh, we'll find the real one eventually.

Bekki: Yeah, just wait.

**50 Years Later**

Lenni: Hey, Clare! Clare Clare Clare Clare!

Clare: ...Yes?

Lenni: We found it for real this time!

Clare: ...ERIN I THINK THEY'RE LYING TO ME AGAIN!!

Erin: HOLY MOTHER F---ING GOD HOW THE F--- DO YOU NOT GET THE F---ING MEANING OF LEAVING ME THE F--- ALONE FOR F---'S SAKE?! –sob- So close and yet it's gone again... slipped from my fragile grasp...

Lenni: Oh jeez Erin's gone tortured poet again, I can see her searching for a rhyme.

Erin: Shuddup, if not for you guys I'd know the meaning of life by now.

Bekki: Eh.

Lenni: Anyway we found it this time!

Clare: Right, well, let's see.

Erin: ...Lenni, I'm going to kill you.

Lenni: Why me?! Bekki is equally responsible!

Bekki: Uh, yeah, kill me too, cause y'know killing us is sooo easy these days.

Clare: Is that the same island...?

Erin: Yes, Clare, it's just 50 years older.

Bekki: -.-

Lenni: Ehehe... well we WILL find it next time!

Erin: Yeah... right.

**243 Years Later**

Lenni: OMG Clare! Clare Clare Clare Clare!

Clare: NO!

Lenni: ...

Bekki: ...

Lenni: CLAREEEEEEE! CLAREEEE!! CLARRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!

Clare: HOLY JESUS WHAT!?

Lenni: WE FOUND IT DUH!

Clare: Found Atlantis?

Lenni: YES!

Clare: Not that same island?

Lenni: NOOOOO!

Clare: Are you lying to me?

Lenni: No.

Bekki: Yes.

Lenni: ...

Bekki: I meant 'no.' Sorry.

Clare: Psh, you guys are such liars.

Lenni: We are not!

Clare: You are too!

Lenni: FUCK YOU!!

Clare: AHHHHH! GET OFF ME! ERIIIIN THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!

Lenni: O.O

Bekki: O.O

Clare: Uh... what's wrong with Erin?

Bekki: ...Oh, I forgot to tell you guys... she figured out the meaning of life and has been crying ever since.

Lenni: Really? What is it?

Bekki: ...Promise you won't cry?

Lenni: Yeah, duh.

Bekki: Cheese.

Clare: What?

Bekki: That's it.

Clare: What? The meaning of life?

Bekki: Cheese.

Clare: ...

Bekki: Yup.

Clare: Cheese is the meaning of life?

Bekki: You bet cha life it is.

Clare: ....I'd rather not.

Bekki: Um, okay, fine. But Erin discovered it, not me.

Lenni: ...Why would she cry over cheese?

Bekki: ...Uh, I think its more disappointment than her actually crying over cheese itself.

Lenni: Right. Well... time to cheer her up, I guess. ERIN WE FOUND ATLANTIS!

Erin: LEAVE ME ALONE! WHY MUST I BE IMMORTALISED AS A FOOL AND BELIEVE YOU TWO MORONS!!1!

Lenni: ...

Bekki: ...

Lenni: We're not morons.

Bekki: We really did find it this time.

Erin: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Lenni: Psh, eternity's a long time to stay mad, Erin.

Bekki: Yeah, you don't want to start a feud.

Erin: YES I DO, ANYTHING TO GET YOU WHORES AWAY FROM ME!

Lenni: ...

Bekki: ...

Lenni: Titchy, isn't she?

Bekki: Aye, indeed.

-scrabblekickpunchfighthairispulledErinisdraggedawaywithClarerelunctantlyfollowing-

Erin: Holy shit...

Clare: I don't believe it...

Erin: Atlantis... they were telling the truth.

Bekki: Fuck yes we were and who didn't wanna see??

Clare: Alright, I'm sorry.

Erin: Yeah, me too... you can't blame us for being a little doubtful though.

Lenni: M'kay, you guys are forgiven. But we do get to say 'we told you so.'

Bekki: Yeah... plus I've known the meaning of life since I was mortal.

Erin: ...

Clare: ...

Lenni: ...

Erin: WHAT?!

Bekki: -cough- Happy Beavers Eat Cheese? Ring any bells? I figured it out forever ago.

Lenni: ...

Erin: You're totally just using that coincidence.

Bekki: No, I always said the phrase had meaning.

Clare: That's totally irrelevant.

Bekki: WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME??

Lenni: You're a liar, dear, why should we?

Bekki: GOD THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ATLANTIS THING!


	4. The Immortals and the Coming of Christ

**The Immortal Sexi Foursome**

**Chapeter 4**

**The Immortals and the Coming of Christ**

Guest starring – Jesus Christ!

Bekki: -giggles- Christ came

Erin: Wow, Bekki, way to destroy a huge religious event with a sex joke.

Bekki: Stfu, Erin, it was worth it.

Erin: No, it really wasn't.

Bekki: ...You mean to tell me you're still religious after the meaning of life fiasco?

Erin: A little... more so now that Christ has come.

Bekki: -giggle-

Erin: BEKKI!

Bekki: I'm sorry!

Clare: You think he'll want to meet us?

Bekki: ...Why would he?

Erin: Bekki... we are immortal.

Bekki: Oh right, so you think he cares about that sorta thing?

Erin: I would say so.

Bekki: Hmm, m'kay, I'll call him up. –giggle-

Erin: ...I do not trust you.

Jesus Christ: Hello, Erin, Clare, Lenni... Bekki.

Bekki: ...Why did you say my name like that?

Jesus Christ: Oh, no reason... but as an atheist you're less important than the others...

Bekki: ...Do we need to take this outside?

Jesus Christ: I'm a non-violent being...

Bekki: Yeah, you don't have to do anything... I don't want blood on the carpet. See, I have a gun... no fighting necessary!

Erin: Bekki! You are not killing Jesus!

Bekki: Oh for fuck's sake, Erin, he isn't fucking Jesus anyway!

Lenni: She's got that one right.

Bekki: Yeah, Erin, you really are kind of gullible.

Erin: ...HOW AM I GULLIBLE? 2 BILLION PEOPLE HAVE AGREED THAT HE IS JESUS!

Bekki: Pff, Jesus my ass, Ari was Jesus.

Erin: ...Ari wasn't actually Jesus, guys.

Bekki: Yes, she was.

Lenni: She so was.

Clare: IMA SHIP THIS MOTH WITH THIS LAMP KTHNX!!1one

Jesus Christ: Excuse me... but I really am Jesus Christ...

Lenni: DID WE ASK YOUR OPINION, CORPSIE??

Bekki: Jeez, settle down, Lenn. Anyway by the laws of TS4, which have been in effect since the year 498,732,952,401,285, no one can claim the title of any religious figure or preach in any form, so what the hell are we doing?

Clare: We're uh... I don't even know. This isn't right, is it?

Erin: No, definitely not, Clare.

Lenni: ...Bekki where do you even get all those guns? I have never seen you use the same one twice... weren't they outlawed in the year 358,845,878,845,488?

Bekki: Yeah... but I kept a few for myself... we just don't want those dumb mortals getting hold of any.

Erin: Isn't that unfair?

Clare: ...

Bekki: ...

Lenni: Erin's funny.

Bekki: Erin, dear... we rule through force and fear... or we did when we first took over. We don't have to be fair.

Erin: We still could be...

Clare: ...

Lenni: We don't WANT to be, darling.

Erin: Well, humanity has come a long way...

Bekki: Thanks to selective killing on my part.

Erin: Why can't we revise the TS4 laws?

Lenni: Why would we want to?

Clare: Change is bad, Erin.

Erin: The world's cool now...

Clare: When you two took over the world what exactly was your plan for it?

Bekki: Conquer. All.

Lenni: ...Actually I based my part of it from reading Death Note.

Erin: You did?

Lenni: Yeah... I love that series.

Bekki: ...

Erin: Guys...

Lenni: Don't you even start getting judgmental; you had a part in these laws.

Erin: I know I did... but don't you think a change might be...

Clare: NO!

Bekki: What the fuck, Erin, what the fuck?! The world is all happiful, why fuck that up? Tell me that, why disturb this shizz?

Erin: To make it better!

Lenni: You. Are. Deluded.

Bekki: Yeah, we'll make it better when someone complains.

Erin: I'm complaining!

Lenni: You don't count, you aren't one of the masses.

Clare: Or a mass of the masses.

Bekki: Anyways love, you know the punishment for starting shit within the Sexeh Foursome.

Erin: ...Oh right... sorry guys, you win.

Bekki: Don't forget the underwater breathing trick we taught you!

Lenni: Enjoy your stay!

Clare: Change the damn toilet paper, there were no rolls left last time I was there!

Lenni: Clare... we don't stock Atlantis with food. Thus the punishmenty atmosphere.

Clare: Oh well...

Bekki: They don't have toilets either...

Clare: ...

Erin: Bye guys!

Clare: Bye Erin!

Lenni: Miss you, love!

Bekki: Learn not to complain, whore!

Lenni: Ah, I'm gonna miss her for the next 20 years...

Bekki: Yeah, same... I hate when someone whines.

Clare: Yuss, specially bout the TS4 laws.

Lenni: That shit is sacred.

Bekki: Totally.

Jesus Christ: I don't mean to intrude, but I am still here and I'd really like to have a word to you all about the way you're running the world. See my father...

Lenni: Holy fuck I forgot he was here!

Clare: AHHHHHHh!!11oneone

Bekki: Oh for fuck's sake! -bangbangsplattergroancrashbang- Fuckin' Jesus imposter. Ari. –bang- Was. –bang- Jesus. –bang- You. –bang- Fucker. –bang-

O.O


End file.
